A divorce lawyer has explained why he thinks men should always foot the bill on the first date – because it’s the “best litmus test“ to determine whether a woman is “entitled” or “appreciative”.
Justin Lee, from Canada, said how a woman reacts to a man offering to pay can make or break their relationship.
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“Men should always pay on the first date – and get this, it’s for our own good,” Justin said in a viral TikTok video.
“So let’s say at the end of the date, you pull out your wallet to offer to pay and your date just sits there, expecting you to pay as if that is the obvious course of action, in that moment, what did you just learn?
“You just learned that the person in front of you is entitled, and frankly, has the audacity to expect a near-stranger to pay for them.
“Just imagine how someone like that will treat their significant other, their spouse.”
The attorney – who calls himself the “breakup lawyer you never want to see” – said a man can learn a lot about their date for a “low price” of $20 to $40.
“You learn that the person in front of you does not have the basic courtesy to pretend to offer to pay,” Justin said.
“Therefore you should never go on another date with them.”
‘Payment isn’t the issue’
He said when men take a particular issue with paying on the first date, it’s not about the amount of money they’re spending.
“The issue is when we end up paying for someone who has this real sense of entitlement, like this expectation that we will pay,” Justin explained.
“Your date, whoever that is, may very well be the person you end up marrying.
“Trust me when I say as a divorce lawyer, who you end up marrying is so important.”
‘Entitled verses appreciative’
As much as it’s about “respecting” and “appreciating the gesture”, Justin insisted “it’s not about who actually ends up paying”.
“As I said, men will gladly pay – the payment isn’t the issue,” he said.
“The issue is when women perceive the payment as an obligation as opposed to a kind gesture. Entitled verses appreciative. No one owes anybody anything.”
He added: “For the record, this isn’t gender specific – any man or woman who feels entitled in any way towards the other is a walking red flag.”
His video has been viewed more than 690,000 times, with many divided over his controversial views.
‘Who should offer to pay?’
“I always offer to pay. Women who offer to split have a massively larger chance of a second date,” one man wrote.
One woman said: “I’m not entitled at all. But I am a bit old fashioned. I do expect a man to buy dinner but I am also incredibly caring and giving in other ways.”
Another insisted: “You should always pay because it tells us if you’re going to be a good provider.”
One suggested: “That’s fine – someone who invites me out and expects me to offer on *their* invite has zero manners and probably wouldn’t make a great husband.”
‘My time is money’
Another woman added: “My advice for women is to order what you can afford yourself, and never assume the man will pay.”
One wrote: “You’re missing the fact that women pay with their time. Our time is way more valuable than money. You had the expectation that we would give our time.”
Another man suggested: “This. This is why I always see if my date offers to pay. If she doesn’t even attempt, there is no second date. Women simply think it’s about money.”
While one woman added: “My time is money. If a man asks me out for a date, he has to pay.”
Meanwhile, many women confessed they always offered to pay or split the bill if they were not interested in their date.
“So I have a different outlook on this. If I see a potential partner I would allow him to pay but if I don’t see potential I offer,” one wrote.